Words My Wife Hates


Seriously. It’s the way those last three consonants blend, or in her mind fail to blend. I think the fact that some people pronounce it like “melk” makes her dislike it even more.


Same rules in play here, plus you’ve got that strong “oi” diphthong in place at the beginning.


There’s a definite pattern here. Strangely, some salves are easily confused with ointments. Strangely, my wife has no problem with the word “balm” even though it’s almost a salve. Perhaps it’s the softer “lm” at the end that saves it.


She dislikes this one for it’s primary usage in pornographic literature. “She lay there, spent, panting, and covered in axle grease.” Even in other situations, Heidi is anti-spent. In her world, there’s no such thing as “spent cartridges” only “used” or “empty” shells. Fair enough. I can’t write any more on this iPod.

The battery is almost totally spe- um, empty.

12 thoughts on “Words My Wife Hates

  1. okay, wtf!? I still get the pink?! (wait maybe that isn’t such a bad thing…nevermind)

    Ok, I am so I am a Hoosier and say milk “melk”. My wife, who is leaps and bounds more book smart then me, loves to correct me on this every chance she gets. I then get her back for her southern twang (speech pattern Turner, speech pattern) that comes out when ever she get upset or excited so I figure we’re even.

    She’s missing just two, MOIST. This word just sounds dirty.
    And OIL. Have you ever heard southerners say that? Of course you have, they swallow half the word. It sounded like my father in law was going to throw up on me last time I was there and decided to change the oil before coming back to Indiana.

    Also, there are spent cartridges. mostly in artillery rounds, but there are some small arms that use case less ammunition. So now you can use that word again. Out loud that is. 🙂


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