It’s Friday, November 9th. Last night, apparently, I went on a bit of a Twitter binge. This usually happens when I watch the NHL playoffs (which may or may not happen next spring. Don’t get me started) or U.S. Presidential Election-related stuff like debates or election-night coverage (which is thankfully over for another four years) or the Walking Dead. Another time this phenomenon occurs is when I partake of some manner of booze. Usually, the booze is simply a catalyst, acting in conjunction with the other events I’ve mentioned. Sometimes, however…well, the booze just unlocks the crazy, and I take to Twitter to try to infect everyone that follows me. Here, then, are some highlights from last evening’s Twitsplosion…
Okay, see that Tweet at the bottom? The one about the mayonnaise? Yeah, that’s how it all started. Also, there is a reference in there to me changing my avatar. The old one looked like the offspring of The Governor and Wil Wheaton. I changed it to the one you see now. It’s more…me. you’ll also note some response from @WoMarty. That guy is my boss, BTW. Good chap.
Some more responses. Hey, great! People are paying attention! TO ME!! I LOVE ATTENTION!!!
The pic that I failed to expand in this screenshot is of me drinking Scotch. Okay, we get it. Turner likes Scotch. Also, this marks the second time in this blog entry I’ve mentioned Wil Wheaton. I long ago unfollowed Wil because he went on and on about the Big Bang Theory, a show he makes frequent guest-appearances on. You may recall that I am not what you’d call a “huge fan” of that show. Since then I’ve begun following him again, in part because he is sometimes the polar opposite of Adam Baldwin. Adam and I used to get into spirited political discussions. One night I gave him a royal beating in a debate we were carrying on via Twitter and the sumbitch blocked me. That’s how you know you’ve won the argument. The other person takes their ball and goes home.
Apparently, when I drunk Tweet two things happen: I forget how to spell and I start obsessing about body parts. Okay, good. Also, @jan31875 followed me, and it made me happy (I don’t know who that is, BTW.)
More interaction: @ajmotia (a lovely young lady whose last name is pronounced “mo-TEE-ya”) makes a joke about my old avatar. Ha. Then @RMRacing19 chimes in with concerns for my wife’s safety. Russ is a lcoal Komet hockey fixture, NASCAR fan, and race care driver. I will fucking END HIM if he doesn’t watch it.
I have deliberately left the conversation between myself and my old friend @brettyrocks hidden from your sight. See, Brett is a big ol’ dirty, stinky hippie. He’s also gay as they get. I love Brett because he once wore his “100% Negro” shirt to work when Reverend Al Sharpton came to visit when we both worked at the alternative station 99X in New Bern, NC. Oh, by the way…Brett is also very white. True story. The suits were nervous about the non-PC shirt and Sharpton’s reaction to it, but to everyone’s surprise the good reverend absolutely loved it and even posed with Brett for a picture. Last night, however, Brett was describing sexual acts with gentlemen, and while I am all for guy-on-guy or girl-on-girl (okay, mainly girl-on-girl) action, I’m treating his Tweets as the language of Mordor and will not utter them here. One more to wrap it up…
The guy named Sneed was a consultant when I worked in NC. He was the mentor of my sworn enemy, so, yeah. And that’s my foot. I think I blacked out after that one. I Tweeted a few pics last night, and one of them was of me eating my kitty cat, Keyser. My good friend (and sometime drummer for the rock band Rains) @TheJoeSchultz reminded me that he, in fact, had posted a similar pic long before I did. Giving credit where credit is due:
And finally, my boy @TikiBoundRay tried to unravel the mystery of the strange Tweets coming from my account…
Quite a detective, that guy.