Words My Wife Hates

Milk

Seriously. It’s the way those last three consonants blend, or in her mind fail to blend. I think the fact that some people pronounce it like “melk” makes her dislike it even more.

ointment

Same rules in play here, plus you’ve got that strong “oi” diphthong in place at the beginning.

salve

There’s a definite pattern here. Strangely, some salves are easily confused with ointments. Strangely, my wife has no problem with the word “balm” even though it’s almost a salve. Perhaps it’s the softer “lm” at the end that saves it.

spent

She dislikes this one for it’s primary usage in pornographic literature. “She lay there, spent, panting, and covered in axle grease.” Even in other situations, Heidi is anti-spent. In her world, there’s no such thing as “spent cartridges” only “used” or “empty” shells. Fair enough. I can’t write any more on this iPod.

The battery is almost totally spe- um, empty.